Do you ever wonder how to balance self-acceptance with your desire for growth?
Hello there if you don’t know me already, My name is Michelle Alexander I am the founder and Managing Director of AKA Life Coaching Transformational Life Coaching for Women. I go by many names Michelle, Mech, Nana, Alexander.
This blog is a monthly journal of my thoughts and insight during the Month, Thank you for tuning in. Now that Covid 19 lockdown has become the new normal and has forced many of us to think about our lives more than ever. Personally over the past few weeks I have realised that having this free time to think can be a good and bad thing for some of us. During this Month I have had numerous conversation’s about how this uncertain time is effecting people close to me on a personal level. What has become very clear is that the battle comes from within #Self talk .
Even for someone like myself that continues to try and work on my mindset, I continue to battle between a growth and fixed mindset. So many of you maybe asking, what is self talk? Self talk is the steady stream of ongoing dialogue that goes on in our Minds constantly. Your self talk influences your moods ,emotions and ultimately your behaviour. My self talk continues to make me think I’m not working hard enough and makes me second guess myself. Knowing this has made me raise the question, How do I balance Self-Acceptance Versus Self-Improvement?
Over the last month I have tried to increased myself discipline in a number of ways. Working from home can have its positives and negatives for a workaholic like myself .Step away from the computer Michelle, is something I often have to say to myself.
This valuable time spent at home has made me reflect on what skill’s I have but also what areas I want to continue to nurture. Through out our lives there are a number of labels that you and Society will put on us . Over the years I have succumb to a number of labels ie hard worker, pescatarian, mother, supportive, honest, trendy and a few more negative ones which a few of my ex partners could help you with Lool. Jokes a side, the strongest word that resonated with me was ‘ humble’ which I thought was a term of endearment, well I might have been wrong about this. Over the weekend I happened to come across a TEDX talk by Trinity Bellwoods which made me laugh out loud and was truly thought provoking ‘ Why are women always saying sorry? How apologizing kills confidence!
Trinity wonderfully highlighted what the word ‘Humble’ Actually means Lool wait for it ‘having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's importance.’ It made me think how many women like me underplay there talent and achievements at work and in our relationships making us settle for job opportunities that are suggested to us .
Personal growth is full of paradoxes, one being the balance between self-acceptance vs. self-improvement. As a new business owner trying to grow my business, I regularly struggle with not wanting to sound conceited but also knowing that I have to speak enough about it if I want my business to grow. I have now realised my struggle to talk about my achievement is a result of my belief that being humble is a good thing. What labels are you putting on yourself that maybe holding you back? .
From this day forward I am going to be proud of my achievement s. I am going to display the best version of myself and I also want to be OK with the way I am right now. I want a better, brighter future full of dreams, aspirations and goals. As the founder of AKA Life Coaching I also want to support you and other women to feel happier with what you/they have in the present and but at the same time help you/them to take steps to a brighter future .I have written a few thought provoking questions for you to answer. XOXO
Do my goal’s alignment with my values and principles today?
YES / No
Am I denying a very important and natural part of myself that longs for growth ?
YES / No
On a scale of 0 -10 Is this Goal mine or Society’s ? 0 society’s and 10 Mine scale ……..
AKA LIFE COACHING TOP TIPS
REFLECT : It’s is ok to acknowledging there might be certain things about you would like to change or improve.
EXPLORE : Explore things that you struggle to accept and approaching them with curiosity and be open minded.
HAPPY PEOPLE : Surrounds yourself with positive people who are good listeners .
BE KIND TO YOURSELF : Promote Positive self-talk.
AFFIRMATIONS : These are statements you say to yourself to affect the outcome you want.
FORGIVE : Forgive yourself. Let go of self-blame for actions you’ve done in the past.
POSITIVE TRAITS : List your positive traits and traits you would like to nature. Include more positive .
JOURNALING: Journal examples of your positive qualities. ( Have you Purchased a AKA Life Coaching Journals ? ) https://greyhound-apple-6mwj.squarespace.com/config/pages/5eaedfa5f65ad02006fc14a7
BELIEFS AND VALUES : Explore the beliefs you have about yourself, where they came from? Many of our beliefs about yourself are formed in our childhood, influenced by our parents, siblings, teachers, friends, media and other children. Ask yourself if any of these messages still dominate your life and if it’s time for them to change?
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF : Remind yourself that a bad situation or flaw does not take away from your good qualities.
HAVE FUN : Treating yourself to a fun activity you enjoy.
CELEBRATE : Celebrating your successes.
NO ONE IS PERFECT : Remember Richard Branson is a self made billionaire and he is Dyslexic.
