AKA Strong Mums — AKA Life Coaching Transformational Life Coaching for Women & Underrepresented Groups

So what do you wish other women had told you about Health and Exercise after pregnancy? and how can busy women get started?

Hey, there you’re Phenomenal,

My name is Michelle Alexander I am the Founder and Managing director of AKA Life Coaching: Transformational life Coaching, Family support and Early intervention service for women. This Month’s Blog is featuring a strong mother Abbie Matthews the Founder of Strong Women Training in Wales. Over the COVID 19 period, I have continued many of my usual rituals of reflection, journaling, learning, reading, but one thing that I have tried to enhance is my eating habits. Working in an Early intervention I often have an action-packed day with many visits and meetings. This, in turn, mean’s that I can often without realising skip meals and reach for an energy booster such as a Fizzy drink which has always been a vice of mine. Working from home has allowed me to have a healthier and balanced diet meaning I am now eating breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. This has left me feeling like I have more energy, feeling less tired and more productive. It made me think of how busy Mother struggle to balance their health, busy schedules and families. This, in turn, means that for many women their health becomes an afterthought.

“Here’s to the strong women may we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”

In this Months August/ September Issue, we look at a busy Welsh Mother’s journey to regain her fitness levels, come to terms with the fact her once dreams had to pivot after having her son. Abbie continues to show the true resilience of women. Abbie manages to support her family and acknowledge her new reality whilst maintaining and holding onto her dreams to continue to build her business. Abbie of Strong Mum Training created Strong Mum to be able to help women and mums to be who want to be as healthy & strong as possible throughout pregnancy, and new mums who want to get their bodies & their self-confidence back and start feeling strong and “sexy again”. Although Abbie grapples with whether feeling Sexy again is important as it was to her before now that she has embarked on a journey of self-development, self-confidence and self-awareness. Abbie’s passion for health & fitness started eight years ago and changed her life completely. I hope you will join me in wishing Abbie and Strong Mum Training the best in supporting new mums to become a healthier and happier version of themselves.

Tell us a little bit about yourself?

Hi My name is Abbie Matthews, I live in wales. To sum me up in three words I would say I am strong, positive and caring. I haven’t always been that way though, caring yes, but I've had to work on the positive part of my personality and that has, in turn, made me strong. I absolutely love helping others and seeing people happy is definitely my motivation. I love to learn so most of my spare time is spent reading or studying topics related to pre & postnatal training and nutrition.

What are your dreams and aspirations?

To offer a very bespoke training service which allows women to realise and achieve their full potential, through physical exercises and mental coaching. I hope that by the time my mission is complete I will have changed the lives of thousands of women by teaching them to understand themselves and know how to deal with the demands of life in a more confident and healthy way.

What does a typical day look like for you and how do you manage to fit exercise into your busy day?

I have realised that I need to get myself in check before my little boy rise. So providing I have had enough sleep, I wake up at 4 am and run through a short sequence of meditation, gratitude, affirmations and journaling practices, then I train. Ideally, my little one remains asleep but sometimes he wakes up, so I get him to train with me (the t.v. goes on in the background after he has said his confidence affirmations).

What has having a child taught you about yourself, people, family, and society?

Where do I start??? Becoming a Mum has made me appreciate my parents and others. Parenting is by far the most challenging job anyone could have. I have learnt so much about myself and self-improvement has become an even stronger driving force as I am now a role model. I am working on staying calm and I have learnt the advantages of being organised as well as really staying fit and healthy for my whole families benefit. Motherhood has taught me to be less judgemental. I didn't realise I was before motherhood, but I have become even more open-minded about everyone living their own journey. What one woman may find utterly challenging could be a breeze to another, but I assume these things less and less now. I have also learnt that people have very different opinions, which as much as I used to try to, I cannot change. For this reason, I have to equip my son with as much knowledge and confidence so that he can make his own decisions and hopefully not be easily influenced. Having a child of mixed heritage during the black lives matter movement has made me hopeful that my little boy will eventually live in a world with true equality.

Who is your biggest support?

My partner is my biggest mental motivation. I am also blessed with a small but loving family.

What challenges do you feel you face as a working mum?

Mum guilt is the biggest challenge.... feeling bad for having to be firm about focussing on something other than my son is tough. Even though I know that he does need to become self-sufficient in ways, it's never easy to have to ignore his requests to play and have cuddles with his mummy. As mentioned in the previous question, looking after my health is so important. You can't pour from an empty cup and if I feel tired, stressed or under the weather, this feeds into my whole household, which is counterproductive. For this reason, I have to make sure I put time aside to do what I need to do for me. I am a massive advocate for all mum's doing this too.

What areas are you trying to overcome?

As a parent: firmness & discipline. On a personal/ internal level: self-worth is a reoccurring, negative belief that has tested me since my teenage years when I was overweight. Mental strength and resilience are just like a muscle, it needs frequent work to grow!

What are your first memories of trying to keep healthy and Fit?

The discomfort of training is definitely something that takes some getting used to. Back then I didn't understand that the body has to undergo a degree of damage in order for the muscles to repair in a stronger way (this damage is not to be confused with training in an unsafe manner where physical damage to the joints, tendons or ligaments are incurred).

What were the positives and what were the negatives?

Training can become an addiction. Honestly, it became a healthy addiction for me which took over from the most unhealthy lifestyle habits of smoking & drinking. Any habit can have it’s downfalls though, these I experienced after becoming a mum when I could no longer train as and when I liked. This led to me feeling quite low and missing my life before motherhood.

What tools and strategies have you used to keep your body and mind healthy?

Intermittent fasting helps me counteract overeating. Pilates methods have helped me restore my core strength post-pregnancy, I also find this useful for mindfulness. Weights and resistance training keeps me strong and healthy on a physical and mental level. Stretching has helped me to overcome imbalances I adopted through pregnancy and carrying my little boy in a lop-sided manner. Journaling helped me overcome a very depressive time of my life and still helps me to work out my feelings if I have had a negative situation that day. Planning; I feel lost and unproductive if I haven’t made a list to work my day through. Meal prepping or at least meal planning helps me avoid snacking and binging on unhealthy foods which only give me a quick energy fix, then leaves me feeling fatigued quite shortly after.

Where did your fitness journey begin?

I was a very late starter in fitness. In school I used to forge letters to be excused from P.E. then I became really overweight in my early twenties and this increased when I finished uni and got an office-based job. I also smoked and was a social binge drinker. In my mid-twenties I went to the gym with a friend and did some weight training which I found really enjoyable. This led me to seek out the expertise of a Personal Trainer and from there I ended up turning down a massive job opportunity in medical sales with a move to London to go self-employed and train as a P.T.

What lesson’s have you learnt over the years when it comes to fitness?

Your head will stop you way before your body.... mind over matter is so powerful!!!

What work out do you do when you don’t have much time?

Tabata sessions / Hiit are brilliant when you're short on time and want to boost your metabolism. I choose about 3-6 exercises, compiling of lower, upper & core moves and perform them for 30-60 seconds taking a 30-second rest in between. I will repeat the circuit 3-6 times. I have time-saving workouts on my website & social media pages.

How did you know when it was ok to start exercising again after having a baby? As there is often conflicting information around when to start running, pelvis, core muscle and when it is safe to exercise after C section?

Listening to your body is the most crucial tool in resuming exercise after pregnancy. Of course, you need to wait for any stitches to heal (c-section and episiotomy) then begin with activation work to reconnect with the core and pelvic floor muscles. The body will naturally carry you through movements that you make it do, but this doesn’t mean it's beneficial and doing the wrong type of training can cause more damage. For anyone wanting to resume running, this is also the case- providing the pelvic floor can take the impact then run, but if you have to depend on the security of a Tenna pad, this is a sign you need to seek the advice of a post-natal specialist or physiotherapist. “Tenna ladies are not for life"!

You have spoken quite openly on Instagram about the difficulties you sometimes have when exercising can you tell us about the support you are receiving for that?

I experienced the effects of a hypertonic pelvic floor. Overtensed muscles stopped my bladder from being able to fully relax which in turn meant I experienced incontinence during any high impact movements and when coughing & sneezing. I had to seek the help of a physiotherapist who specialises in women's health. This was so beneficial to me and gave me the tools I needed to retrain my pelvic floor.

What are your 10 Top Tips for busy Mum’s / Women?

Plan – set goals- daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.
Put your gym kit next to the bed.
Keep a bottle of water beside you always.
Write lists.
Use a nutrition tracker, if not for calories, for protein intake or nutrients.
Follow a training programme – it’s much more rewarding and likely to get better results.
Do weights Practice pelvic floor engagement every day.
Live by your own rules!
Take a collagen supplement Providing you don't have any medical health issues that contraindicated this.
Journaling and don’t be quick to label yourself with Re: Mental health. Work on your negative thoughts and exercise.