Top habits and tips : Positive discipline strategies to use
Plenty of positive attention: Praising positive behaviour by being specific and ignoring minor naughtiness will encourage a child to seek positive attention.
Star charts and rewards: Help teach your child the concept of delayed gratification. Your child learns that good behaviour can have positive consequences.
Time out and withdrawal of privileges: As a last resort, give one minute for each year of life. For older children withdraw a specific privilege.
Explain very clearly the reason and when it is over you both forget and move forwards.
Mean what you say: Be firm when no absolutely means no. You can listen and acknowledge your child’s view but sometimes you must be the adult.
Be prepared to repeat the process calmly and firmly until your child understands.
Still making sure that your child understands the concept of sharing while acknowledging his feelings but you are also negotiating an alternative which helps your child arrive at solutions.
Be a good role model: Children learn by example. You can’t expect them to tidy up their toys if you leave your stuff strewn around.
Tell them what you want: Ask for what you want rather than for what you don’t want. “Please put your coat away” rather than: “Don’t throw your coat on the floor”.
Avoid empty threats: Instead explain what your bottom line is and stick to it.
Give choices: Parent or adult carer: “I see you have quite a bit of homework tonight. How about having something to eat and then you can decide to get started on the homework and have a break later? Or would you prefer to have the break now and then do your homework?”
Try to negotiate boundaries and rules that allow teenagers to feel they have a private space that they have control over. Allow for an acceptable level of cleanliness to ensure a healthy environment.
Choose your battles: As your child gets older it may well be more sensible to steer away from the tidy room issue and concentrate on the more important issues like safety.
Singing from the same hymn sheet It is important that all those within your family and friends, including stepparents, grandparents and older siblings, understand your values and approaches to discipline. This can be difficult when their opinions are different from yours, but it is important to keep them involved and updated.
If in a couple, try to support each other in keeping the 'bottom line'. It is easier for a child to keep one message rather than two conflicting ones. Try to agree with your partner any strategies you are considering. This may be particularly difficult
if you have been a lone parent for some time and are now in a new relationship.Finding ways to agree will help you support each other in dealing with behaviour. Non-resident parents can help in keeping boundaries. Get them involved with decisions otherwise they may undermine your plans unintentionally.